'All the sexiest Barcelona women waiting for you': I messaged Mbappe urging him to sign for Barca
Hi there my Barca friends! It's Martha again (your marketing consultant and emotional intelligence coach) and I'm again giving valuable pieces of advice to famous people via my Instagram activity. I know they read my messages, I just know that.
I've been quite tired lately hearing regularly about what club Mbappe could join, with Barca rarely on the list. So I guess it's time to explain to the young Frenchman why he should opt for the best club on the planet.
Here's what I wrote to Mbappe.
"Bonjour Kylian! How are you my friend?
What’s it like playing for the club whose real fanbase is as big as a pigeon’s penus (there isn’t even any, LOL)?
I know that you are contemplating what club to join next and you have some shitty options to choose from, namely Real Madrid.
Let me give you 2 simple reasons why you should join Barcelona and ignore pathetic Madrid approaches.
All the sexiest Barcelona women are waiting for you. You cannot even imagine how many beautiful and horny girls live in our city (especially in central areas) and how many tasteless girls with skin problems and hairy armpits live in Madrid. As I’ve recently advised Dembele, it’s crucially important to have a state-of-art girl for a footballer to flourish. When it comes to picking a woman, please remember the holy 3Bs: Brains, Boobs and Butt. Barcelona’s babes have all those qualities in perfect conditions and sizes.
Real Madrid are a fake club. Look at them: they have no real philosophy, they have no style others would want to copy, the majority of their fans are as plastic as still water bottles (or like PSG’s fans). They have BOUGHT all their achievements like you buy race cars to impress those who don’t really give a shit about you and will forget you once your spending power vanishes. To play for Real Madrid is like playing the keyboard for some cheesy K-pop band. What could be worse, Kylian?"
Comments
I really hope this changes his opinion. Let's hope he is into girls, though. I can't remember seeing him with one.
😂
Nice piece Martha
Nice one. Keep going. 💪🏾