‘I did it for my Barca fans’: voodoo priest admits putting a spell on Zidane and 3 Madrid players
Hello from Haiti. It’s me (James) again and I’d like to share another totally unexpected story my Barca friend, who’s also a voodoo priest and a soothsayer, has told me recently.
Have you ever wondered why Zidane left Madrid in 2018, Bale’s form deteriorated, James’ career at Bernabeu never really took off and Hazard had weight problems?
During our conversation on Friday, the priest admitted putting a voodoo spell on them in order to help Barcelona. It really came as a shock to me but in the end, you know, I actually thanked him.
Below is what the priest had to say.
On Zidane
“I was quite disappointed to see Zidane winning the third consecutive Champions League trophy in 2018. I was annoyed and wanted him to leave Madrid fast. I wanted to create chaos there. To defeat the enemy, you have to eliminate their general first. And that’s what eventually happened thanks to loa. Moreover, Zidane will NEVER be as successful at Real Madrid as before. My dear Barca fans shouldn’t worry about it.”
On Bale
“Remember that overhead kick against Liverpool? That’s when I decided it was time to make sure Bale wouldn’t build upon that to cement his place in the first-team with a form like this. As you can see, I did even better than expected, my spirits did their job perfectly (the priest starts laughing loudly). Now Bale is hated by a large group of Madrid fans and he would be more than happy to leave the club.”
On James
“We all know how well James played at the 2014 World Cup and of course many of us remember that goal vs Uruguay. I was quite scared that James could become a real star at Real Madrid, so I had to act to make my fears disappear. I want everyone to know one thing about him: James will never be a big star at any top club.”
On Hazard
“Hazard is extremely talented and long time ago I even wanted to see him at my beloved Barcelona. Before his official announcement as a Real Madrid player, I did my usual routine to put a spell on him plus I put something like a ‘bonus spell’ on Hazard with the help of loa: starting from his first day in Madrid shirt, he will have constant problems with body weight. Even if he only eats vegan food for the rest of his life. I just cannot allow him to show his full potential at Madrid.”
What player would you like the priest to put a spell on?
Comments
Then make Barca win the champions league again 🤞🤞🤞
Huh, all this time I thought Zidane was the one doing black magic to win the UCLs
I want Ramos to get corona virus ☹️
That’s not a nice thang to say.
Even the worst people don't deserve such a thing like Covid
Hey y’all know it’s just a joke . Nothing hard feeling here . Stop acting like I mean this because it’s just a joke