‘Don't wax the dolphin before kick-off’: Paul Merson says he almost ruined his England debut with solo sex act

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‘Don't wax the dolphin before kick-off’: Paul Merson says he almost ruined his England debut with solo sex act

Gunners legend Paul Merson made his debut for the Three Lions in the early 1990s and nearly ruined it. Today, he gives young footballers just one piece of advice: don't 'wax the dolphin' prior to the kick-off.

Back in June 1992, England were preparing for a friendly against Finland and was omitted from the starting squad. So, he decided to relax a wee bit.

"In the hours before the Finland match, when the squad was supposed to be sleeping, I sat up, watched the telly and waxed the dolphin," Merson wrote in his book ironically titled How Not To Be A Professional Footballer.

"In those days my ankles were like glass. I was terrified of them giving way, but that afternoon I didn't bother.

"In the dressing room I pulled my tracksuit and boots on and sat on the bench, thinking I'd have an easy afternoon. Big mistake. After 10 minutes John Barnes ripped his Achilles' tendon and Graham told me to warm up.

"'S**t,' I thought. 'My ankles are going to shatter in the first tackle and I'm knackered from waxing the dolphin all day, this is going to be a nightmare.'

"Miraculously, I got through the game without injury or fainting from exhaustion, but it taught me a lesson. After that, I was always thorough in my pre-match preparation, whether I was playing or not."

AuthorAndrey ChegodaevSourceMirror
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