Haiti’s voodoo priest delivers latest Barca round-up of transfer predictions
Many people from around the world have sent numerous requests asking the priest to make regular predictions on the latest transfer rumours.
Here’s the first round-up including stories the priest has already covered earlier.
On Coutinho to Newcastle
“He’s extremely likely to move there because he’s not really needed at either Barcelona or Bayern. Plus the new super-rich owners need some statement purchase to use it as a bait to attract other stars. That’s what the sky tells me. The Brazilian doesn’t really have a lot of options to choose from. I have an absolutely clear vision of him moving to Newcastle who are set to become the most hated Premier League side ever - but that's a different story.
On Lautaro to Barcelona
“Lautaro seems very likely to join Barcelona but as I have already said he will prove to be a total failure at Barca. I’m currently doing everything possible at my level to make this transfer collapse. If he moves to Barca, he will experience goal droughts and psychological problems (and some personal problems involving two women from Venezuela and Colombia).”
On Mbappe leaving PSG
“There are very few chances of him moving to Barcelona now. Liverpool are front-runners. As for Mbappe, I’m also busy with some practices to turn the tide into Barca’s favour, although it’s going to be very difficult. Hopefully, the stars and spirits will help me and Barcelona. Mbappe moving to Barcelona is now my biggest challenge after healing one man to able to speak after a 30-year silence following his divorce.
On Neymar to Barcelona
“He will return to Barcelona. Yes, it will happen at last. No doubts about it at all. However, he will be very injury prone. His problems with his new 22-year-old stepdad will also affect his performance. The faster his mother files for divorce, the better. Barca fans won’t be disappointed with Neymar but he won’t be a huge success either. Please remember that.”
Comments
Great post but just gotta say I’m pretty sure Neymar’s 22 Stepfather Got dumped by Neymar’s mom after she found out he was cheating with her chef
This is 2021. You, the priest have been declared a fraud. Thanks
Great post, mate. The only downside is that the future looks grim for Barcelona... Perhaps our next president will be able to have a good impact, who knows?